Motivation

What motivates you? Do you even know?

I'm not talking about what gets you out of bed in the morning. That would be my children. In fact my children and family are motivators for the large majority of my day to day. I talking about, what motivates your reactions, more than your actions?

Several years ago my son was running down a hill. At the bottom of the hill was a lake. There was a fence between him and me, but my brother was standing by the lake. My son was running right toward the lake and I hear a voice in my head say, "he's going in, there he goes, in he goes, (insert light giggle) ok, he is going in." I wasn't panicked at all. I wasn't even really concerned. And I really did think it was a bit funny. He was three at the time and didn't know how to swim. In he went, my brother reached over and pulled him out by the foot and we wrapped him up in a towel. It scared him, it shocked him, and he learned a great lesson. Don't dive into water when you can't swim and you don't know how deep it is. He won't do that again.

A little while ago my daughter was playing with the neighbor, the mother came over upset that "the girls were missing." I saw a perfect movie of our neighborhood from a birds eye view and I knew exactly where they were. They walked around the block. The shouldn't have, it was wrong, they got in trouble, but I never panicked. I never thought they were in real danger. I knew when my daughter left to play that something was going to happen. I just didn't know what.

My guides, my inner voice, my intuition, the universe, what ever you want to call it; motivates me, guides me. So lately I've had a niggling feeling to "prepare." It is probably silly, but no harm can come from it so here I am.

For some reason that I can't name, I am being motivated or guided to buy things I normally wouldn't use on a day to day basis. I have a hurricane kit, but now I'm being drawn into making it much larger. I've purchased water purifying kits, rain water barrels, flint and fire starters. I've begun planning a vegetable garden, and thinking about what foods will store longer. I have so much rice and beans that my family would eat for 3 months. I hate beans by the way. I keep seeing those post apocalyptic movies in my head, where people can't find anything to eat, so they roast rats over a spit. I've started thinking about if the world completely fell apart what is the first thing I would run out and get? Medicines. I have several guns, but I'm purchasing a hand gun. I am a very good shot. I know I could protect my family. These are all things I've been doing and am motivated to do, without thinking about. I'm just moving in that direction, like I'm being herded in that direction.

BUT...... when I stop and think; when I look at the world logically; when I open myself up to everything and try to pull it all together; I only really expect a couple days of an "emergency event." What I worry about it stupid people. The great masses that completely fall apart when the world doesn't move along the status quo. The people that riot when the power is out for three days, that panic when the Internet goes down for a week, the people that steal TV's even when they can't possibly plug it into anything. The stupid people.

I don't follow the starts (astrology). I don't believe in dooms day prophesies.  I don't think the end of days is coming. I don't believe that Mayans thought the world would really crack open and end in 2012. However, I do think something is coming. As much as I move on intuition and my guides, I am logical and skeptical. And this is what I have been watching.

Did you know in 2012 their is going to be a planetary alignment that only happens something like, every 26 THOUSAND years? Most people don't. This is real science. So if you have all the planets lined up in a nice little row, what will happen? That is the tricky part! No one knows. The experts don't know. No, I don't think that the poles will shift, a common dooms day theory. No, I don't think that the skies will rain down fire and brimstone. I don't even think that there will be much reaction from the Earth at all. I do think we will loose some satellites maybe, and/or cell towers, and/or electricity. It could be three days, three months, or three years. I don't think this absolutely has to be a catastrophic event. BUT...... you mix stupid people in there and you have hell with shards of glass running around blind bumping into everyone..... Even if you remove any outside factor at all, I still fee like I have to gather food, prepare for a storm, and be ready to bunker down. I don't believe there can be any harm in preparing for the unforseen.  

My plan is to take care of my own. If it gets bad and you know me, you can join my compound, but you have to be useful. (I'm kidding) (sorta)

And Ammo, don't for get ammo!

Are You Prepared?

I'm not talking about the end of the world or anything that cryptic, although I'm prepared for that too. I'm talking about all your life experiences preparing you for future experiences. It seems to me that all the things I've lived through thus far is building me up to strengthen me for things coming after.

When I'm in a group, or in the classroom, or even in a message board, sometimes I don't share everything. I am a person of a thousand stories. You mention a topic and I have a story to relate. I realized early on though, not everyone wants to hear your stories. I didn't want to be that person that "one ups" everyone else. We all know that person. No matter how bad your day, she has worse. No matter how great your news, she has better. I didn't want to be that person, so sometimes I just don't share.

I do however, have a story for everything. I was spending the night at a girlfriends in Jr. High when someone tried to break into her house. Her dad held a gun to the guys head and told him to yell to his friends that ran behind the house, then for them all to get he hell out of here. What a thing for a kid to witness. I've killed a chicken, I've birthed a kitten, I've stepped on a rotting cat. Not the usual things a kid might have seen or done. I've kicked a boy in the eye, I've kicked a man in the chest, I've split open three different boy/men's heads in different ways. I even split a mans lip by punching him in the face.  I am not even a violent person. Life just seems to happen so that I have been able to protect myself.

Seriously, a story for everything. I look at it as my weird stories and happenings as preparing me. I don't know for sure what is coming but I know now, what ever it is I can handle it. Looking back at all the pain I've endured, the emotional stress I've survived, the things I've done to look back on...... wow. Even looking at the illnesses I've had. I've had asthma, cured, hypoglycemia, cured, cracked my head open, survived that without stitches. I still have a bald spot from not getting my head sewed up, but I survived having alcohol and peroxide poured over my head. OUCH! I've had laser surgery with no anaesthesia, I've woken up while they were putting the breathing tube into my throat during surgery, I had pins pulled out of my foot with out anaesthesia. Everyone of these I had a doctor and/or nurse ask me, "Didn't that hurt?!" Uh.. YEAH! but I didn't really have a choice, or didn't think I did.

Now I look at my daughter and I am completely confused by my reactions to her. My boys are boys, and they are wonderfully healthy. I see my daughter going down my same path that I did. I have very mixed feelings about that. She is the one that came to me and told me she talks to "spirits" all the time. I didn't give her that word, she came up with that. I have been very careful not to put ideas into their heads. They need to know about their gifts, not imagine them from mine. She has had painful events in her short life. Ecoli at 3 months, eye surgery at 6 months, constant vomiting starting at 4 years, now her CVS (cyclic vomiting syndrome) she has severe stomach pain, blurred vision, sensitive hearing and moodiness. She actually deals with it very well. She is becoming so mature for only 6. I worry, but at the same time I  believe she may just be taking her journey. All I can do is support her on that journey. Be here for her when she needs someone to hold her up. And wonder, what is this preparing her for in the furture.