Babies

My children's birthday is this month. I wrote a book about the process of carrying them in my body. I even had several publishers interested in it. But then life got in the way and I got busy and put it down. I've picked it up several times but keep thinking I don't have enough for a book. How long is long enough for a book? I only carried them for 7 months.

They were triplets for the first two months. Sometime in the third month,  I lost the third. They told me from the beginning though that the third was not a "viable pregnancy." It didn't really bother me so much as it probably would most people.

That is because I was already talking to my babies. Baby C was going to be a girl, but she wasn't ready. Then she changed her mind and came to me as a boy. My next pregnancy was a single baby, a little boy. I say little because he is the size he would have been, had he been the triplet. Smaller than the other two.

I almost died when I had the twins but I knew the third baby was waiting for me so I knew I would have him anyway. I almost died when I had him too. My body went through hell, but I knew my spirit and spirit of my children were already connected. I was too important to them to let me leave and they were too important to me for me to leave them alone.

I think it has more to do with my understanding of spirit, why I survived. I'm not afraid to die. I'm just afraid of not doing my job here first. To take care of my children and make sure they are little people that grow up to be big people that will make a difference in this world. Even if it is in some small way. Being kind to other people, helping the helpless, or doing something big. Maybe they will end war, or hunger? I don't know, I just know it is my job to prepare them to be that kind of person.

When I was pregnant I talked to them all the time. They were in spirit for different times for each of them. The third baby was around until I was about nine weeks pregnant, then she told me she was ready to leave me now, she had things she needed to do before she could come back to me. Then she was gone. The physical part of her didn't pass until I think I was about 12 weeks.

The second baby took his time. He talked to me, my guides told me he would be a hand full. I would have to keep an eye on him because he was going to get hurt a lot and hurt the other ones just because he was so excited with life. That is who he is to this day. He entered the little body I was holding for him at about 6 months. He was waiting. His twin sister though, was ready much sooner. It was about 4 months when she jumped into the little body I was holding for her. She was to be first born, she wanted to be there first, and she wanted to be closer to me. Yes she told me that. She was going to be my baby girl. My only baby girl and there is a special bond in that.

My guides told me she was going to be wicked smart like her Daddy but a real stinker like me. Snarky sense of humor and gifted. I think she is really funny, and she is the one that see's spirits without being afraid of them. Nothing "other worldly" scares her. He just rolls with it and thinks it is part of life. She was stunned when I told her not everyone perceived the world the way we do. Not everyone can see and talk to spirits. She said she was sad for those that can't. My son is a bit intimidated by it. I just reassure him it is ok. If he doesn't want to see that part of the world then just tell them to leave them alone. She remembers I think. She tells me all the time she chose me. He doesn't understand what she is talking about.

So I beleive the "mind wipe" most people go through when they are born, worked on him, but not on her so well. I know it didn't work so well on me either. I remember two past lives vividly and part of one other. I remember little sparks of living as spirit. But from what my guides tell me I wasn't in that form for long. I choose to come back to complete my lessons. This is the last time I will be a human though. That I tend to believe. I almost feel like I am of much more use to people as a comforting force than as an actual person.